Boat ride

The Butlin's saga is hereby concluded with a snap of what I thought was a rather splendid ride for small children., with the boat gently rotating as it rolled from one end of its ramp to the other. Cunning motion on more than one axis, requiring some care with the shape of the bottom of the boat. I dare say that they would have let us have a go, but we we forbore.

Googlemaps confirms that it the Wave Hotel in the background, one of three on the complex. It also tells me that this ride is to be found at latitude 50.785695, longitude -0.660216. Which reminds me that there is a bit of class about being more or less on the Greenwich Meridian, with longitudes more or less zero; it goes a long way towards making up for most of our units of measure being French and with the masters being kept in French vaults, rather than British ones.

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The Butlin's bike

The  Butlin's bike mentioned in the last post, with the all important brake visible above and to the right of the unused steering wheel, in the way of the steering column mounted gear shifts of cars and vans of old. Snapped in the alley behind the oldest block of chalets, with the perimeter fence visible right.

Interestingly, BH's steering wheel was entirely decorative, but she nicely demonstrated the tight coupling between perception and action parts of the brain by energetically steering, despite knowing full well that her wheel did nothing, steering as if it were the steering wheel of a car with power steering, rather than the more bicycle flavoured action which was needed. Long time since she has been on a bicycle.

The following morning, I demonstrated something else when I tried to insert our hotel room key into one of those hand held contraptions which take money from one's credit card. In my defense, I can only say that it was the same sort of card, in so far as size, shape and construction were concerned.

With further evidence of neural degeneration provided by my difficulty in navigating the maze of roads and roundabouts at the back of Bognor. I did not seem to have enough time to process what seemed to be the large amount of information on what seemed to be the very large number of signs and practise did not seem to be of much help. And things were made worse by a sprinkling of aggressive drivers and the age of our map, which sported a price sticker saying £3.10, just about one third of today's mail order price from OS, so it must be pretty ancient.

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Inside a hotel

A tea and coffee opportunity, served by one of the surprisingly few mainland Europeans on view in and around Bognor in hospitality functions, this despite their clearly being present in large numbers in the town.

No doubt the yellow tubes would have been called artworks, complete with explanatory plaques, had they been in the Festival Hall in London. Although, to be fair, I suppose that noticed at reference 1 is rather more elaborate. Nevertheless, I wonder whether Mr. Butlin has missed a trick here.

Note the discrete video camera on the right hand wall, very like those used on tube trains.

PS: I do not think that we saw anyone drinking alcohol during our visit, although one might have thought that plenty of the residents were well up for that sort of thing. Perhaps with children, they very properly waited until the evening, by which time we were long gone. On the other hand there was a fair amount of smoking to be seen, although not by staff, for whom it is presumably forbidden, certainly in view of the customers.

Reference 1: http://psmv3.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/art.html.

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Got the bracelet

We have now had our day trip to Butlin's at Bognor (Regis) and we have the bracelets to prove it. A visit which was in part prompted by a two page spread in a recent Guardian covering the circus there - a circus which turned out to have packed up last week with the end of the school holidays. The up side was that we did not have to pay very much at all to get in.

First impression was of the quality of the planting. Plants of all shapes and sizes all over the place, nicely chosen and well looked after.

Second impression was of quality generally. There was, for example, very little litter. The buildings looked fresh and clean. The staff were uniformly pleasant and friendly. Ditto customers.

All helped along by it being a fine summer day, not too hot but bright and sunny. I dare say such a place would not be so clever in the rain - particularly if you had had a week of it with a couple of children in tow. That said, there was plenty for children to do indoors, including what looked like a well-flumed swimming pool. And today, there was plenty to do outdoors, although we forgot to give the adventure golf a go, so we will not be able to report back to Horton Golf Club. See reference 2.

Very impressive central tent, more impressive for me as a piece of tent engineering than for what was inside it.

A variety of options on the accommodation front, including self catering with fully equipped kitchen. And for people of working age there was a conference suite. An onsite Spar for corner shop stuff and a big Morrison's a hundred yards down the road for lentils and such like. Indicative prices for accommodation sounded very reasonable, compared with, for example, what we usually pay for an independent self-catering. And if you want to eat their food there was a good range of very reasonable looking eateries. Not posh, but well up to the standard, say, of Wetherspoons.

Two seater bicycles available for hire, for use on the complex. Good fun, but quite heavy going, partly because of sturdy construction, partly because of there being no seat adjustment, making our bicycle quite heavy on the knees. Luckily there was a very good brake.

Two down sides. One, there was a fair amount of noise about the place. Two, no direct access to the beach and one had to leave the complex by one of the checkpoints to get to it. But this last was fair enough, with one of the selling points to young families being controlled entry and exit.

And a down side for the staff was the seasonal nature of the work. You got a brand new zero hours contract each year, although if you face fitted you could be reasonably sure of getting a contract each year. Zero hours contract meant that things would be a bit thin over the winter and many of the staff would be on benefit for its duration. A thinly disguised state subsidy for the place.

PS: smoking arrangements seemed very fair, with smoking banned indoors - I did not ask about the privacy of one's own room - and largely banned outdoors, but with plenty of well-signed designated smoking areas.

Reference 1: https://www.butlins.com/day-visits/bognor-regis/.

Reference 2: http://psmv2.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/rumble-in-jungle.html.

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Swinger

We had a go on the carousel, which from a distance looked like the real thing and the workings of the horses seemed real enough, with plenty of sturdy rods, couplings and gears, but the central core, which ought to have held the barrel organ, held it no longer, with organ music being provided electronically.

While the fancy art work on the nearby swinger, which we did not go on, did look like the real thing. But even here, not sure about the red, white and blue central column, which did not seem to match the rest of it. Perhaps these rides are more or less antiques, and the Butlin's maintenance men just have to do the best they can, taking proper account of all of today's regulations and rule-books about such things - no doubt helpfully supplemented by the men from the European Commission's Directorate General which looks after fêtes foraines. See reference 1.

We even chickened out of the helter-skelter.

One of the three hotels on the site visible bottom right.

Reference 1: http://psmv3.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/following-precedent-set-back-in-autumn.html.

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Inside the big tent 2

Not quite sure why we have gone from yellow to grey.

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Inside the big tent 1

I suspected the big columns of carrying some ventilation function, as well as the basic support function.

One of the offerings inside the tent was a show for small children, involving what we took to be characters from some popular children's television program. But there was a pleasant young lady in the lead, clearly dance trained. Presumably the choice for most of the graduates of place like our Laine School of Theatre Arts, is either shows like this for children, or something just a tad more sophisticated for geriatrics on cruise ships. I was in any event struck by the similarity, in all sorts of ways, of the two offerings. In a word, as they used to say in the navy, Butlin's was just a stone frigate.

Reference 1: http://www.laine-theatre-arts.co.uk/.

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Plants outside big tent

Elsewhere it was more flowers. Lots, for example, of pink wall flowers.

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