It is not altogether clear why the hotel has invested in such beds, the clientele being mainly older people such as ourselves, hardly likely to have much sport in one. I can only suppose that there is supposed to be an association between four poster beds, castles and stately homes, with the hotel thus acquiring some lustre, with somewhere in the background there being the pleasant feeling that we are staying in a castle or a stately home.
Fake in the sense first that it is relatively new, knocked up in some factory somewhere, possibly not in China, but certainly not by the estate carpenter.
Second that while it has the posts, it does not have the drapes, let alone a roof to keep the spiders and other small animals from falling out from the ancestral thatch above onto the sheets. It is not possible to convert the bed into a sort of cocoon. We have curtain rails, which might have been intended to hold curtains in place, but we have no curtains. Instead we had two strips of net curtaining, one draped over one end of the bed and one draped over the other. Drawing these curtains is not an option.
For the record, as far as I can recall, we have been in hotels where you can make a cocoon out of the net curtains. We have been in hotels where the four poster beds come with suggestions of curtain made out of regular, heavy duty furnishing fabric. Maybe, even, with swags. But we have never been in a hotel with a working four poster bed. For that you have to sneak into the V&A after hours.
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